HOW TO FIND A GOOD MAN!
IT'S COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT I'VE SEEN A LOT OF WOMEN HERE ON MYSPACE (MY BEAUTIFUL SISTA'S IN PARTICUALR) ANGRY, UPSET, FURIOUS, FRUSTRATED AND CONFUSED ABOUT THEIR RELATIONSHIP WOE'S AND HOW TO FIND A GOOD MAN! I'VE HEARD STORIES RANGING FROM WOMEN BEING ANGERED TO THE POINT OF GIVING UP ON MEN ALL TOGETHER, TO OTHERS CONTEMPLATING STEPPING OUTSIDE OF THEIR RACE AND CONSIDERING INTERRACIAL DATING! NOW I'M NO RELATIONSHIP GURU OR EXPERT ON MATTERS OF LOVE, BUT I DO WISH TO SHARE A COUPLE OF WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT TO ALL THE LADIES OUT THERE, WHO FEEL LIKE GIVING UP ON LOVE!
ASK YOURSELF ONE THING FIRST AND FOREMOST, WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR IN A RELATIONSHIP? SERIOUSLY AND HONESTLY ASK YOURSELF WHAT IT IS YOU WANT, WHAT YOU EXPECT, WHO YOU EXPECT IT FROM, HOW YOU EXPECT IT TO BE DONE OR ACCOMPLISHED AND WHAT ARE YOU PREPARED & WILLING TO DO TO ENSURE THAT IT HAPPENS? IT SOUNDS SIMPLE ENOUGH BUT SOMETIMES HAVING A CLEAR, CONCRETE AND PERCISE IDEA OF WHAT YOU WANT AND HOW TO GO ABOUT GETTING IT CAN WORK WONDERS.
NEXT ASK YOURSELF, HOW REALISTIC IS THIS IDEA OR DEFINITION OF WHAT YOU CONSIDER TO BE A RELATIONSHIP? SOME WOMEN ARE NEVER HAPPY IN RELATIONSHIPS THEY'RE IN, BECAUSE THEY HAVE UNREALISITIC EXPECTATIONS OF WHAT THEY EXPECT FROM A PARTNER. (EX: WANTING A MAN, WHO HAS THE FACE OF DENZEL, A 6 PACK LIKE USHER'S, CAN SING LIKE LUTHER VANDROSS, AND WILL WINE & DINE YOU ON A MOMENTS NOTICE AND STILL HAVE TIME TO HELP YOU WHILE SHOPPING AND NOT COMPLAIN ABOUT IT, IS JUST NOT GONNA HAPPEN, IN THIS LIFETIME OR IN ANY OTHER! AND BELIEVE IT OR NOT I ACTUALLY HAD A YOUNG LADY ONCE TELL ME THAT AS HER IDEAL MATE, NO JOKE!)
THE POINT IS THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH SETTING STANDARDS OR WANTING A CERTAIN "TYPE" OF MAN AS A MATE. BUT YOU HAVE TO REALIZE WHETHER OR NOT YOUR "WANTS" ARE REALLY WHAT YOU "NEED". IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE HAVING A MAN WHO MAY BE ATTRACTIVE, SUCCESSFUL, RICH AND IS GREAT IN BED, BUT IS ABUSIVE AND BEATS ON YOU.
IT'S IMPORTANT TO REALIZE THAT IT'S NOT WHAT A MAN CAN FEED YOU PHYSICALLY (CARS, MONEY, JEWELRY, ETC.) THAT'S IMPORTANT, BUT WHAT HE CAN FEED YOUR SPIRIT AND MIND AS WELL AS YOUR BODY. ASK YOURSELF DOES BEING WITH YOUR PARTICULAR MAN OF CHOICE HELP MAKE YOU A BETTER MOTHER, BECAUSE HE SHOWS DEPTH IN AREAS OF LOVE AND AFFECTION THAT YOU MIGHT LACK IN? OR DOES BEING WITH THIS MAN HELP MAKE YOU A BETTER FRIEND, BECAUSE YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM HAS TAUGHT YOU A DEEPR UNDERSTANDING ABOUT HOW TO PUT OTHERS NEEDS BEFORE YOUR OWN, BY LOOKING AT EXAMPLES OF HIS OWN SELFLESSNESS AND SACRIFICE FOR YOU AND OTHERS IN HIS LIFE? IF THE ONLY GAIN YOU HAVE TO SHOW IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR MAN IS A NET PROFIT OR AN EXTRA BENTLEY IN YOUR DRIVEWAY, THAT'S COOL IF MATERIALISTIC WEALTH IS ALL YOU VALUE. BUT IF TRUE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE IN A MEANINGFUL RELATIONSHIP IS WHAT YOU TREASURE, THEN YOU ARE WASTING YOUR TIME WITH THE WRONG TYPE OF MAN!
SOME LADIES MAY MAKE THE MISTAKE OF BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH A GUY BECAUSE THEY'RE LONLEY OR IN DESPERATE NEED OF LOVE AND ATTENTION. THE ONLY PORBLEM WITH THAT IS IF YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO LOVE, APPRECIATE AND BE HAPPY FOR YOURSELF AND BY YOURSELF, YOU WON'T BE HAPPY BEING WITH OR BECAUSE OF SOMEBODY ELSE. TRUE HAPPYINESS COMES FROM WITHIN (AS CLICHE AS IT MAY SOUND), IT'S NOT SOMETHING YOU CAN BUY, MANUFACTURE, OR BARGAIN FOR THROUGH MONEY, DRUGS, SEX OR A MAN!
IF YOU NOTICE, ANY WOMAN WHO'S GOT ISSUES OR ISN'T HAPPY WITH THEIR LIFE AND RUSHES OFF TO BE WITH A MAN OR GET MARRIED, SHE MAY SEEM HAPPY TEMPORARILY, BUT EVENTUALLY THE MISERY ALWAYS COMES BACK (SOMETIMES EVEN WORSE THAN BEFORE). THAT'S BECAUSE THEY NEVER DEALT WITH THEIR OWN PERSONAL ISSUES FIRST. ONE MUST LEARN TO HAVE LOVE, TRUST AND APPRECIATION FOR ONE'S SELF FIRST, BEFORE YOU CAN DO OR SHARE ANY OF THOSE THINGS WITH SOMEONE ELSE.
SO TO RECAP,
1. I FEEL THAT PIN POINTING & DEFINING EXACTLY WHAT IT IS THAT YOU WANT, HOW, FROM WHO AND WHY,
2. UNDERSTANDING THE REALISM OF THESE GOALS
3. AND MAKING SURE THAT YOU ARE ALREADY CENTERED BALANCED AND HAPPY (ON YOUR OWN)
ARE ALL KEY STEPS TOWARD A WOMAN PUTTING HERSELF IN THE RIGHT FRAME OF MIND AND SPIRIT TO FIND A GOOD MAN!
LASTLY I JUST WANT TO SHARE A FEW POETIC WORDS WITH ALL OF YOU WONDERFUL LADIES OF MYSPACE (AND THE WEB) :
Goddess of Seduction, I'm a slave that craves your touch
Or atleast a glance of your Blueprint of Beauty most men desire in their clutch
To envision each curve in your Silhouette takes the depth of the Master Creator
Cause your perfect in measure, with no one who fares better, and a Queen to all women with none greater!
It's not for me to judge, nor for me to measure
A beauty that is flawless worth more than a priceless treasure
Your nature's gift to all mankind who all know this is true
That beauty's perfection personified is reflected in the image of you!
SOME OF YOU MAY RECOGNIZE THESE POEMS ALREADY THAT I'VE SENT YOU IN THE PAST. I POST THEM HERE TO ALL OF YOU NOW BECAUSE THESE WERE SHORT POEMS THAT I WROTE OVER THE LAST FEW MONTHS, INSPIRED BY ALL OF YOU! I JUST WANTED YOU TO SEE YOURSELVE'S HOW I SEE YOU. SO THAT YOU'LL HAVE A SIGN OF KNOWING THAT THERE ARE DECENT QUALITY MEN STILL OUT THERE, WHO APPRECIATES A GOOD WOMAN WHEN HE SEES ONE! AND I SEE THIS IN ALL OF YOU.
SO TO ALL THE LADIES OUT THERE WHO STILL FEEL TROUBLED, ANGRY, EMITTERED, MAD AT THE WORLD, ETC. I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU! IF YOU AGREE, DISAGREE OR JUST AREN'T SURE, WRITE A RESPONSE OR FEEDBACK AND LET YOUR OPINION BE HEARD! LET'S OPEN A DISCUSSION AND HEALTHY DIALOGUE TO FIGURE OUT ONCE AND FOR ALL: HOW CAN WOMEN FIND A GOOD MAN! THANKS AND ONE LUV
PEACE,
WISDOM
